Revision Notes I: Plot and continuity I

In an earlier post I said I was only going to one revision, but I reassessed that and decided to do two - one for plot and continuity and one for actually rewriting. For plot and continuity, I read through the story (forcibly holding back from correcting clumsy prose and terrible writing) and created a story synopsis and a character synopsis. Both had all the same content, but the story synopsis outlined the order of all events, while the character synopsis outlined the order of events from each PoV character.

In this post, I'll go over the purpose of the character synopsis.

Character synopsis

The purpose of the character synopses was to ensure each PoV character had a full story with beginning, middle and end. A character can't pop up at the beginning disappear for the middle of the novel, and then appear at the end with their problem suddenly resolved - this would leave a reader feeling cheated. If this happens in your book, you may need to ask yourself what the point of the character having a problem was. If their problem is a plot device, then can their problem can be described through another PoV character?

Each character needs a few things to engage the reader in their story:

• Goal
• Motivation
• Conflict
• Resolution

If they're missing any of these, then you're missing an important and basic structural necessity. These points tells us what a character wants, why they want it, what is standing in their way, and how they overcome those challenges. The character synopsis helped me determine whether I had each of these for each PoV character. An article I read on this book by Debra Dixon outlines how these headings can be broken down into internal, external and tension. Internal is often emotion - it is the characters internal or personal goal, motivation or conflict. External comes from other characters, or the setting for example. Tension is consequence or problems associated with the character's goal, conflict, motivation or resolution. For example, perhaps their goal conflicts with a friends, or there is a time limit on their journey to a resolution.

Here is an outline of the goal, motivation, conflict and resolution for my main character:

Goal 

• Internal: To accept herself and her abilities.
• External: To fit in with the people in her new life and learn to live in a different culture.
• Tension: Trouble reconciling her old life with the new one.

Motivation

• Internal: To make the best of the opportunities presented to her.
• External: To please the people she cares about.
• Tension: Making the best of her opportunity results in creating internal conflict and external conflict.

Conflict

• Internal: Reluctance to completely abandon her old way of living.
• External: Everyone is keeping secrets, including her, and someone is trying to kill her! 
• Tension: The more she investigates these secrets, the more dire her situation becomes.

Resolution

• Internal: She accepts actions she has taken.
• External: She gains the acceptance of the new people in her life and develops new bonds.
• Tension: She was required to harm others to save herself. By asking for help to come to this resolution she may have indebted herself to an evil man.

The goal there might seem a bit mundane, but it is that goal which determines the circumstances for the rest of the book. This character has other, more exciting, goals throughout the book, but they come through in subplots. Each of those subplot goals also needs a motivation, conflict and resolution. The main plotline is broken into several steps by creating challenges, dilemmas, decisions, actions and reactions for the character, but I will covering this in a post on scene structure.

Now that I have a detail synopsis for each PoV character I'll read each to ensure not only that their story flows smoothly, but that they have a solid goal, motivation, conflict and resolution. Additionally, I need to check that no one has blue eyes on one page and brown on the next, that their age doesn't change dramatically, and that general facts about them and their lives remains constant throughout the book.

In my next post, I'll cover the story synopsis.

Incipit

... love that word :)

I love a lot of words and in writing, words are important. Particularly first words. They are your lure, your dragnet for those unsuspecting reader-fishies. If those first words aren’t engaging then people might not continue to the next words. You need to cast that line so it hooks the dimpled cheeks of anyone whose eyes fall upon it. Here are the first few lines from my novel before and after revision.

Original: He wished it would rain. The air seemed charged with a strange and expectant tension that crept into his bones, making him jittery and unable to settle. The expectation of rain had been with him since he had woken to behold his view over the city and seen it shrouded in grey. But it was past midday now and still the cloud refused to yield. It clung tight to its watery load, perhaps intending to release it in a drenching downpour. Jarl didn’t care, as long as it rained. He had a feeling that when it did his unease would pass. 

              

Comments: I was mostly happy with this, but I found ‘He wished it would rain.’ too plain, although I still wanted to begin with a short, similar statement. I also wanted to mention the character’s name sooner and decided to cut out adjectives here and there, just to make the sentences snappier. Finally, I use expectant in one sentence, and expectation in the next, which seemed a bit repetitive.

After revision: The sky must surely be ready to break. An expectant tension charged the air, creeping into Jarl’s bones and making him jittery and unable to settle. Anticipation of rain had been with him since awaking, his view of the grey-shrouded city settling a premonitory foreboding over his mind and a crease above his brow. It was past midday now and still the cloud refused to yield. It clung tight to its watery load, perhaps intending a spectacular downpour. Jarl didn’t care, as long as it rained. He had a feeling that when it did his unease would pass.

What I hope is that this new beginning is intriguing, that it thrusts the reader immediately into a situation and induces them to read further. I want them to feel the same tension that the character is feeling, and I have tried to do this with description. Everyone knows that feeling of the air before a storm, right? Have I communicated that? I’ve tried to convey information about this character without stating it; in my mind, ‘his view over the city’ suggests that his residence is high above the ground and thus that he possesses the wealth I know I associate with a room with a view. It also reveals his general location.

Not only the first lines of your novel should receive special attention; have a look at the first few lines of every chapter in your own work and see if you can make them a more dynamic and engaging setting of the scene.

I would love to receive comments on these first lines or read your own!

Throwing Out the Things You Love

There comes a time in life when you know that all the junk you’ve horded just has to go, and I’m there. Today I hit my 150,000 word limit on Book II of the series I’m working on. That means it’s time for me to stop writing, even though there are gaps all through the manuscript. I find that if I try to fill in all those gaps the store will be stale and I’ll grow bored and frustrated with it, as well as compound any continuity errors I’ve made. It would also be a waste of time, because several bits I’ve written no longer fit within the overall story.

So what to do now?

My next goal is to read what I’ve written – all of it, from beginning to end. As I go, I intend to write both a chapter synopsis, and a character synopsis for each PoV character. There are 9 of those, which may seem to some like a ridiculously large number of PoV characters. There’s two major ones, two semi-major ones, and the rest are minor characters. I’m wondering if some of them will have to go, because that many PoV characters is generally considered  a lot.

The character synopses will be to ensure that every PoV character has a full story; each needs their goals and motivations, their journeys and resolutions. By writing a summary of what happens to each character throughout the book, I’ll be able to see if there are holes in their stories. The chapter synopsis will ensure that those individual stories tie in together.

I’ve let Book I sit for about 5 months after finishing it, so I’m going to begin this process on that and let Book II sit before I begin revising it. Here’re a few things I know I need to change in Book I.

Non-existent characters: In the very beginning of the book,  the main character mentions two friends, who then disappear for the rest of the book. I had great plans for those characters, but as the story unfolded they just didn’t evolve. I loved the idea of those characters, but they didn’t have a place in my novel. I’ll save those characters for something else, as I will scenes I’ve written that no longer fit the story.

Over-used  and under-effective words:  I don’t know how many times I say ‘he sighed’ or ‘she sighed’ or ‘she let out a long sigh.’ I know I’ve used ‘sigh’ far, far, far, far too much and I’m sure there are others words I’ve utilised too often. Use a word enough times, and it fails to have meaning. It’s the same with common words. A thesaurus will come in handy here.

Bad writing: I think this is more a case of one constantly improving with experience, and certainly one of rewriting as opposed to cutting. I thought my writing was great when I began Book I, but now I look at a lot of the earlier stuff and just cringe. My writing has improved that much that I recognise how atrocious my prose and dialogue and just about everything used to be. I think I could revise once, and the same thing would happen; in the time it takes to go through the story, I’d improve further and again I’d see the flaws. So I’m going to revise once, and then I’m sending it out.

Plot holes: Pretty sure I don’t have any, but that might change once I read through it fully for the first time. I will attempt to read the book as someone who has no knowledge of it. Admittedly this will be difficult, so perhaps I should find a draft reader or two.

Show, don’t tell: Sometimes I’ve done this really well, and sometimes my writing comes across as a brief list of events. This was due in part to just not being a great writer. At other times, it was due to me feeling that if I tried to find the right words, it would take me forever and the story would never be finished. So I forced myself to ignore the bad writing and just get it out. You can’t edit or improve something you haven’t written.

My plan is to go through the story in hard copy. I’m kind of thrilled to be able to print and hold something I created! But I’ve also heard revision is more effective on paper. I think that, without the computerised ability to instantly edit, the process will be more focused and I’ll be able to complete it more efficiently.

If anyone has any advice, leave a comment for the benefit of others!

My next few posts will focus on the editing process and its inevitable deviation from my plan!

The Dreaded Cliche

I thought it was about time I started posting on some more technical elements of writing. This post will deal with the feared cliché – some of my own opinion on that as well as what I’ve heard from writers, some of them published.        
                A story needs to start with an idea, whether it be a character, a single scene, a theme, or a plot line. Since this is the starting point of a novel, I thought it would be appropriate for this to be one of the first topics I posted on.         
                We all know what clichés are – knowing how to avoid them is the problem. But are clichés necessarily a problem? Clichés are clichés because people like them (or have in the past). But, I suppose that it’s inevitable for anything popular to grow out of fashion as people become bored with the same old. I’ve got clichés in my book – I think it’s impossible to write anything entirely original (if you can point me in the direction of something that is, great!). Whether it’s a clichéd storyline (there are only 36 according to Polti) or a clichéd character or plot element, I think the important thing is to put your own spin on it, and that’s pretty standard advice.      
                Take, for example, good versus evil – a cliché, certainly. To be avoided? Certainly not! Point me in the direction of a novel (fantasy, crime or otherwise) that doesn’t deal with that in some way shape or form. Probably general fiction might be the best chance of escape from that particular cliché, but you’d be hard-put finding a book from one of the other genres that doesn’t. My book certainly deals with Good versus Evil and I’m not about to go changing that just because it’s a typical fantasy theme.  
                The ‘Orphan with a mysterious past’ is another common fantasy theme. I happen to like this one, and the main character of my book just happens to be one. So long as I can put my own spin on it, then the fact that it’s been used a hundred times before shouldn’t matter. J.K. Rowling used it and look where it got her! It just goes to show that it’s the story you weave around these common themes that makes it interesting.
                I really like the idea of writing a book with a prophecy, but these are getting ridiculously common, in my opinion. It seems like every second book you read has a prophecy in it. I’ve still really liked the books I read, but there was just something like ‘not another prophecy’ every time I read the blurb and that word was mentioned.  I think prophecies really need to work hard to make themselves something special, but then, so does any other clichéd element.            
                How many fantasy books have you read where the hero wields some kind of sword? How often does that sword have some magical attribute? These can get pretty old, but recently I read Brandon Sanderson’s Way of Kings and yes, he had swords and yes, the swords have some kind of magic, but it all tied into the story. It wasn’t just there for the sake of it and it was something I’d never read about before, which was refreshing.
                Dark Lords, quests, elves, dwarves, swords, magic daggers, ninjas, castles, the ‘Chosen One’, the wise old stranger who seems to know everything, names with apostrophes – some of these I hate and some I don’t mind. Either way, I think the most important thing is how they are used in a story.            
                I’ve heard some people say that clichés should be avoided at all costs and any book with a cliché should be scrapped immediately – if someone said that to me, I’d ignore it. Primarily, I think we should all write because we enjoy it and that means writing about what interests us. I guess if you’re looking to be published then it pays to be original, but I still don’t agree that this is synonymous with no clichés.