Revision Notes I: Plot and continuity I

In an earlier post I said I was only going to one revision, but I reassessed that and decided to do two - one for plot and continuity and one for actually rewriting. For plot and continuity, I read through the story (forcibly holding back from correcting clumsy prose and terrible writing) and created a story synopsis and a character synopsis. Both had all the same content, but the story synopsis outlined the order of all events, while the character synopsis outlined the order of events from each PoV character.

In this post, I'll go over the purpose of the character synopsis.

Character synopsis

The purpose of the character synopses was to ensure each PoV character had a full story with beginning, middle and end. A character can't pop up at the beginning disappear for the middle of the novel, and then appear at the end with their problem suddenly resolved - this would leave a reader feeling cheated. If this happens in your book, you may need to ask yourself what the point of the character having a problem was. If their problem is a plot device, then can their problem can be described through another PoV character?

Each character needs a few things to engage the reader in their story:

• Goal
• Motivation
• Conflict
• Resolution

If they're missing any of these, then you're missing an important and basic structural necessity. These points tells us what a character wants, why they want it, what is standing in their way, and how they overcome those challenges. The character synopsis helped me determine whether I had each of these for each PoV character. An article I read on this book by Debra Dixon outlines how these headings can be broken down into internal, external and tension. Internal is often emotion - it is the characters internal or personal goal, motivation or conflict. External comes from other characters, or the setting for example. Tension is consequence or problems associated with the character's goal, conflict, motivation or resolution. For example, perhaps their goal conflicts with a friends, or there is a time limit on their journey to a resolution.

Here is an outline of the goal, motivation, conflict and resolution for my main character:

Goal 

• Internal: To accept herself and her abilities.
• External: To fit in with the people in her new life and learn to live in a different culture.
• Tension: Trouble reconciling her old life with the new one.

Motivation

• Internal: To make the best of the opportunities presented to her.
• External: To please the people she cares about.
• Tension: Making the best of her opportunity results in creating internal conflict and external conflict.

Conflict

• Internal: Reluctance to completely abandon her old way of living.
• External: Everyone is keeping secrets, including her, and someone is trying to kill her! 
• Tension: The more she investigates these secrets, the more dire her situation becomes.

Resolution

• Internal: She accepts actions she has taken.
• External: She gains the acceptance of the new people in her life and develops new bonds.
• Tension: She was required to harm others to save herself. By asking for help to come to this resolution she may have indebted herself to an evil man.

The goal there might seem a bit mundane, but it is that goal which determines the circumstances for the rest of the book. This character has other, more exciting, goals throughout the book, but they come through in subplots. Each of those subplot goals also needs a motivation, conflict and resolution. The main plotline is broken into several steps by creating challenges, dilemmas, decisions, actions and reactions for the character, but I will covering this in a post on scene structure.

Now that I have a detail synopsis for each PoV character I'll read each to ensure not only that their story flows smoothly, but that they have a solid goal, motivation, conflict and resolution. Additionally, I need to check that no one has blue eyes on one page and brown on the next, that their age doesn't change dramatically, and that general facts about them and their lives remains constant throughout the book.

In my next post, I'll cover the story synopsis.

Incipit

... love that word :)

I love a lot of words and in writing, words are important. Particularly first words. They are your lure, your dragnet for those unsuspecting reader-fishies. If those first words aren’t engaging then people might not continue to the next words. You need to cast that line so it hooks the dimpled cheeks of anyone whose eyes fall upon it. Here are the first few lines from my novel before and after revision.

Original: He wished it would rain. The air seemed charged with a strange and expectant tension that crept into his bones, making him jittery and unable to settle. The expectation of rain had been with him since he had woken to behold his view over the city and seen it shrouded in grey. But it was past midday now and still the cloud refused to yield. It clung tight to its watery load, perhaps intending to release it in a drenching downpour. Jarl didn’t care, as long as it rained. He had a feeling that when it did his unease would pass. 

              

Comments: I was mostly happy with this, but I found ‘He wished it would rain.’ too plain, although I still wanted to begin with a short, similar statement. I also wanted to mention the character’s name sooner and decided to cut out adjectives here and there, just to make the sentences snappier. Finally, I use expectant in one sentence, and expectation in the next, which seemed a bit repetitive.

After revision: The sky must surely be ready to break. An expectant tension charged the air, creeping into Jarl’s bones and making him jittery and unable to settle. Anticipation of rain had been with him since awaking, his view of the grey-shrouded city settling a premonitory foreboding over his mind and a crease above his brow. It was past midday now and still the cloud refused to yield. It clung tight to its watery load, perhaps intending a spectacular downpour. Jarl didn’t care, as long as it rained. He had a feeling that when it did his unease would pass.

What I hope is that this new beginning is intriguing, that it thrusts the reader immediately into a situation and induces them to read further. I want them to feel the same tension that the character is feeling, and I have tried to do this with description. Everyone knows that feeling of the air before a storm, right? Have I communicated that? I’ve tried to convey information about this character without stating it; in my mind, ‘his view over the city’ suggests that his residence is high above the ground and thus that he possesses the wealth I know I associate with a room with a view. It also reveals his general location.

Not only the first lines of your novel should receive special attention; have a look at the first few lines of every chapter in your own work and see if you can make them a more dynamic and engaging setting of the scene.

I would love to receive comments on these first lines or read your own!